Hello SEPTEMBER. Where the eff did you come from?
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Recently I read What Alice Forgot, a book where one of the characters falls off of her spin bike, gets a nasty bump on the head, and when she wakes up everyone realizes that she can’t remember the past 10 years of her life. One of Alice’s observations is that everyone wants to know how you’re doing when you’re “not well,” but no one really wants to hear the long, drawn out saga of how you’re really feeling. They simply want to know that you’re doing better. But to the person who is unwell, that state of not feeling good (or memory loss, or failed IVF) sort of eclipses everything else.
I came up with a lot of snarky examples of my inner-thought responses to things that people have been excited about over the past two months, but decided not to go there. Basically, if you’re a chipper person I’ve sort-of dreaded observing the juxtaposition of your personality against mine these past 60 days. I’m annoyed with my body for reacting in a such a way as to derail my plans, knock my ability to enjoy off the edge of a steep cliff, leave me dizzy yet not breathless, and basically drive me bat-shit crazy with boredom and some steroid-driven anxiety.
On one hand, I know that people are curious as to what the hell is going on with me. On the other hand, what people really want to hear is that I’m doing better. Well, I am doing better. I think. Can I get back to you on that one?
In an attempt to be more succinct, I’m going to rock a list. Here goes:
- In August, my ENT determined that I needed to be on prednisone. A second 12-day regimen was supposed to get me to/from Portland, Oregon (a trip already planned with friends before the crazy mold incident). Let’s just say it got me through. But the two flights to get there caused my Eustachian tubes to swell, my ears weren’t back to normal before we flew home, and I didn’t have enough steriods left after we got back to fix what was going on.
- Another trip to the ENT revealed that the pressure inside my inner ear was better, but still not normal. I was told it could take 6-8 more weeks for my ear pressure to stabilize. GAH!
- Meanwhile, I’m hyper-sensitive to all of my allergies and for the first time I am noting additional physical reactions to match exposure to allergens (itchy arms, irritated eyes, sneezing). Things I will not do ever again include composting and walking through antique stores.
- I met with a local allergist, who tested me for everything I wasn’t allergic to in 2010 and discovered that I’m allergic to it all now, with the exception of dogs. Since I refuse to trade in Miss Kitty for a hypoallergenic something-poo/-oodle, I start allergy shots tomorrow.
- Dust mites are one of my environmental allergies, so I went out and bought a dust mite cover for my mattress and pillows. It’s basically a giant zippered bag that keeps the mites that are already inside your mattress and pillows IN, and once a week I’ll have to wash all of my bedding in hot water and vacuum off the dust mite cover to remove any new critters. Charming.
- I bought an air purifier for my bedroom, and two new HEPA filters for my vacuum cleaner. Boy does it sure suck now! (har har)
- Finally, I took advantage of a Labor Day 20% off sale and bought enough laminate flooring (314 sq. ft.) to cover the floor in the master bedroom and the office. I only did this after meeting with my financial planner and making sure that my Dad was on board with installation help and/or oversight. For just under $600 in material costs, this will hopefully be a smart, permanent upgrade to my townhouse that should have immediate health benefits.
All of these things, plus cutting my hair and pledging to get back into shape, are part of what I have coined Operation New Leaf!
Did I not mention? Oh yes, well, yesterday I asked a hairstylist to cut off over six inches of my hair. Whoop! There it went! I have to make light of this event, because it secretly kills me that I didn’t hold up to my end of a bargain with myself. Last year sometime, when I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cut my hair or grow it out, my rational self made a deal with my indecisive self: lose 10 lbs., and then you can lose the hair. I got *thisclose* right before our Bermuda cruise in April, but they serve dessert with lunch. And with dinner. And apparently I did not walk enough staircases or survive enough at-sea spin classes to combat those extra calories, glasses of wine, and general yumminess.
I got back on track when we got home, only to be derailed by something (which I now can’t recall). Then I decided to jump back on the horse only to promptly sneeze myself right off of it with this latest allergy saga. *le sigh* I’m fairly certain that all of the steps I’ve taken to control my allergies (see list, and add a daily Zyrtec) have finally put me in a position where I can survive getting back into a workout regimen. Basically, as long as I can keep my Eustachian tubes open I can avoid the dizzy spells and the worry that I might fall off of the treadmill or spin bike, bump my head and lose the last 10 years of my life. Because there’s no way in hell I’d let a 23-year-old Jen attempt to run my 33-year-old life!
(Hmmm, or would I?!)