It is easy for me to get caught up in seeing only what isn’t going well, or what’s standing in my way. 2009 felt like a training camp for disappointment and strife, and though 2010 started off quite nicely I am aware that I’m swimming against the tide of last year’s muscle memory.
My ambivalence about the verb, hope, is unsettling.
I can see that it’s going to take a variety of optimism boot camp exercises to re-train my brain, along with a lot of forward momentum and laughter. I think a good place to start is to concentrate on indentifying a bucket full of good things, things that are in my life and in my world on a regular basis. A bucket list I can carry with me and peer into any time I need a reminder that it’s not hopeless.
A pile of tangible silver linings and pots of gold. Let’s begin…
chocolate milk. MK’s purrs of contentment. colorado. the first bite. a hot shower. Jamie’s laughter. a night sky freckled with starlight. the pleasure of a gift well-received. reading a good book. dogs. a song to sing along to. chocolate chip cookies. writing letters. restful sleep. pedicures.
flannel pajama pants. the surprise of being on-time. sunsets on the water. composing the perfect tweet. airports. swimming. MK somersaulting in pursuit of a toy. a clean car. blue crabs. photography. being active without pain. hot soup on a cold day. the warmth of sunshine on my hair.
getting the joke. trees. a new pair of glasses. trail mix. spending time with my family. forgetting to be self-conscious. a good sandwich. oomphasis. road trips. movie nights. talking to out-of-state friends. new recipes. accomplishing something easier than expected. fresh flowers.
the promise of spring. clean laundry. having money to pay the bills. breakfast. camping. sleeping in. a bright smile paired with hello. impromptu dancing. blue jeans. song birds. finishing a project. sunrises dappled through woods. a good stretch. daydreams. hugs.